


Sliding to the Sea

by IronPunk



Series: Above the Sea [8]
Category: Band of Brothers, The Pacific (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, Aquariums, Asexual Character, Friendship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-21 00:31:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6031573
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IronPunk/pseuds/IronPunk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Good afternoon, Merriell,” Muck says cheerfully. “The name’s Warren Muck and I am here to see Edward Heffron.”</p><p>Merriell huffs, but doesn’t sass Muck like he usually does because apparently the ginger kid counteracts Cajun voodoo or something. He is the salt circle to Merriell’s inner demon.</p><p>Merriell looks grumpy as he calls Babe on the phone, but perks up when Muck moves away from the desk and the ginger kid says something else</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sliding to the Sea

**Author's Note:**

> The representations of the men featured in Band of Brothers is based on characterizations in the show and not on the real men. No disrespect is intended.

Muck doesn’t really like going to visit Babe at his office. Bill and Babe are two of his favorite people, but to get to them he’s got to get past a dead eyed, soulless cajun.

“I uh. I’m here to see Edward Heffron,” Muck babbles. Seriously fuck this. He just wants to have lunch with his boyfriend.

Merriell looks at him dead in the face and blinks once before smacking his lips. “And who should I tell him is here?”

Muck huffs. “It’s Muck.”

Merriell looks at him blankly. “Full name please?”

“Warren Muck,” he sighs because they do this nearly every day. It’s why he started calling Snafu by his first name. Turnabout is fair play.

He doesn’t look back when he’s waved through and maybe hustles to get to Babe’s office.

He must look put out when he gets to Babe’s office because he comments on it.

“Whoa, Muck. Where’s the fire?” Babe jokes.

Muck huffs. “Cajun hellfire at the front desk. We need to leave immediately to avoid the brimstone and sulfur”

“Are you scared of an intern?” Babe asks, amused.

“Excuse you. He looks like one of Webster’s sharks if they escaped and turned human,” Muck answers before turning to him with a straight face. “Babe, I think Snafu is a land shark.”

Babe chokes out a laugh.

“I am not joking,” Muck says seriously. “Land sharks are crafty.”

“I’ll make sure I carry an umbrella in case he tries something,” Babe says dryly.

“You’re going to need something bigger than that to take out a soulless cajun land shark, Babe.”

“Will a grenade suffice?” Babe asks. “How about an uzi?”

“More like a tank,” Muck replies. “Six tanks and the national guard.”

“Snafu is just shy,” Babe argues. “You’ll get used to him.”

“Shy?” Muck asks incredulously. “Webster is shy, Babe. Snafu is quiet because he is calculating murder.”

“He’s not going to murder anyone.”

“Maybe not you but I am first on the list.”

“Oh I’m sure there’s someone else he dislikes more,” Babe replies nonchalantly.

“Thanks, honey bunny,” Muck says sarcastically.

“Anytime, shark bait.”

~~~

The next time Muck visits, however, Merriell’s eyes are not set to murder. He looks uneasy and there is a lanky ginger boy propped on the desk next to him. Huh.

“Good afternoon, Merriell,” Muck says cheerfully. “The name’s Warren Muck and I am here to see Edward Heffron.”

Merriell huffs, but doesn’t sass Muck like he usually does because apparently the ginger kid counteracts Cajun voodoo or something. He is the salt circle to Merriell’s inner demon.

Merriell looks grumpy as he calls Babe on the phone, but perks up when Muck moves away from the desk and the ginger kid says something else.

“Who was that ginger at the front desk?” Much asks when Babe comes down to the lobby. “Kinda dressed like a grandpa but still looks twelve.”

“Hmm? Oh that’s Eugene, but the other interns call him Sledge. Why?”

“I think your angry Cajun is into him,” Muck whispers. He knows, logically, that Merriell is nowhere near them but just in case… “In the pants.”

Babe giggles. “Are you. _Shipping_ my interns???”

“What does the mail have to do with your interns?” Muck asks.

Babe just laughs harder. “This is so cute. You think Snafu and Sledge should hold hands.”

“I have never seen that angry cajun so much as smirk and then bam Sledge shows up and he had a full on smile,” Muck says. “It was creepy but still an improvement.”

“Must be a ginger thing,” Babe says. “I got you out of your shell and now Sledge is working on Snafu.”

“Fucking ginger bastards,” Muck grumbles.

“You can’t complain though,” Babe says.

“Naw,” Muck says and lets Babe pull him into a kiss.

~~~~

“Where’s Sledge?” Muck asks the next time he’s at the office.

“How am I supposed to know?” Merriell asks, a pissy look on his face.

“I thought you were friends.”

“Nah,” Merriell says.

“Oh,” Muck says. He suspected a crush on both sides, but if it was just Sledge. Well, Muck understood better than most how that could end badly.

“Ain’t my fault that kid doesn’t have sense enough to leave me alone,” Snafu drawls.

Before Muck can say anything Merriell’s eyes go wide and Muck looks up in time to see Sledge duck his head and flee the lobby.

Muck turns to look at Snafu with a horrified face. Merriell looks upset, but _seriously_ who just says stuff like that?

Muck sees Sledge around after that, but never near Merriell. He’s wearing sweaters on top of sweaters and Muck doesn’t know how he’s not sweating through all of them.

He doesn’t say anything though. He figures it is a defense mechanism. Makes Sledge feel less exposed or something.

“Hello, Eugene,” he says when he passes Sledge a few weeks after Merriell’s snafu.

Sledge blushes, but says a friendly “Hello Mr. Muck” before he scurries away.

“Oh my god you were right,” Babe whines when he comes over to Muck’s that night. “I think Snafu is _pining._ I have teenage pining running amok at my office.”

“There is no way that guy is a teenager,” Muck argues. _I am not getting terrorized by a 15 year old boy._

“They are both seventeen,” Babe says. “I think. Sledge may actually be older.”

“He looks twelve!” Muck yells. “These are lies!”

“He’s not twelve,” Babe sighs. “He just wears oversized clothing. And has those big eyes...”

Their conversation is interrupted when David comes in looking exasperated. Muck is about to ask him what happened when he hears Ray’s voice and then Ray is following David inside.

 _Oh my god_ David mouths before hurrying into his room.

“Ray,” Babe says cheerfully.

“Good evening, Heffron. How’s it hanging?”

“I don’t know how I am supposed to answer that,” Babe says cheerfully.

“You better not be asking about his junk,” Muck grouches.

“No junk involved,” Ray laughs. “Just asking what kind of trouble you’re getting into. See if I want a piece of it.”  

“Babe has pining interns,” Muck says. He doesn’t know if he should tell Ray about this but he’s sure that whatever trouble comes of it will be worth it to hear Ray’s take on it.

“Poor lambs,” Ray says faux seriously. “Troubles of the heart at such a young age?”

“We can’t even make fun of them for it either,” Babe laments. “Fucking high school.”

“Eugh,” Ray groans. “High school is the actual worst. What an emotional garbage fire.”

Muck face palms because it really really was the worst. At least when he was pining as an adult he could drink when he had too many feelings.

“Fun fact about the Ice Man,” Ray starts. “He was the one who pined after my skinny ass.”

“No way,” Muck argues. “He’s like a viking Nordic model built at Ikea with the blueprints from your wet dreams.”

“I couldn’t believe it myself when I found out. I mean really? That hottie with a body pining after scrawny, mouthy Ray Ray?” Ray says. “I told Nate he needed to get his head examined when he told me about it.”

“How did he figure it out?” Babe asks. “Brad seems… hard to read.”

“Nate and Brad have been weird, mind reading, codependent weirdos since high school,” Ray says. “I thought they were dating when I first met them, but Brad corrected me right away. That should have been my first clue because he never offers information even if you are wrong about him.”

That was an understatement. Muck once had to ask Brad where Ron was and Brad glared at him until he went away.

“Anyway,” Ray continued. “Eventually Nate got tired of Brad’s stoic suffering routine and came to talk to me about it. Asked me why I hadn’t made a move.”

Ray snorted. “I told him straight up that you should know your limit and stay within it. Like I was going to walk up to my terrifying, hot ass, supermodel friend and be like ‘hey want to stick it in me and hold hands later?’ No thanks.”

“So how did you end up together then?” Muck asks. Maybe he could find out something to help out Sledge while he also gossips about a coworker.

“The big guy finally couldn’t resist my charms any longer,” Ray says. “Grabbed me and kissed me like I was coming back from war. Walt was there or no one would have ever believe me.”

“I can’t imagine Sledge grabbing Snafu and planting one on him,” Babe says sadly. “I think we’re going to have to talk to him about his feelings.”

“That sounds like a real downer. Make sure you give him some shots or something to help.”

“He’s seventeen!” Babe says, scandalized.

“You’ll have to excuse Ray,” Brad says. “He was born in a NASCAR trailer park.”

“And we’re going to get you a bell,” Ray says cheerfully. “What are you even doing here?”

“Chasing down your scrawny ass again. Got texts that you were stalking a certain shark expert who prefers his alone time.”

“Aww, c’mon!” Ray says. “David loves me!”

“Are you two communicating via newly developed telepathy? Or is he passing you notes from under his door?”

“Rude,” Ray replies. “If you missed me you could have just said.”

“We’ll be seeing you later,” Brad said ominously to them before picking Ray up and carrying him out the door.

Muck and Babe waved from the couch.  

“But seriously though,” Muck said. “Can we at least give him a cheap beer? Feelings are the worst”

“No!” Babe replied, but he didn’t look like he was convinced.  

~~~

Muck’s luck is such that he ends up accidentally eavesdropping on Sledge’s phone conversation. They are both taking the stairs and Muck can’t get around him without causing a scene.

“I haven’t even told my parents yet. They’ll… They’re already worried I am out here because of my heart and now…”

Muck awkwardly hovers until Sledge looks up and sees him.

“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop,” Muck says.

“It’s ok,” Sledge says. “At least you weren’t… my boss.”

Muck feels terrible for the kid.

“I am not interested in Snafu. Dating-wise I mean,” Sledge says quickly. “I know that’s what everyone thinks, but it’s not true.”

“Oh?” Muck asks.

“I’m dating someone back home,” Sledge admits, waving his phone for emphasis. “Also Snafu isn’t gay.”

“So,” Muck starts. “What was with…”

“Everyone keeps thinking that I am hitting on them when I just want to be their friend,” Sledge grumbles.

“Does Merriell know that?”

“I told him, but I don’t know if he believes me.”

“He’ll come around,” Muck says. “He’s pretty horrifying but he’s been nice to you even though he thought he was fending off your advances.”

Sledge ducks his head. “I don’t even like people like that.”

“Like?” Muck asks.

“Like…” Sledge waves his hand vaguely around his junk.

“Oooh. I thought you had a boyfriend?” Muck is so confused.

“I do but he’s the exception?” Sledge says softly. “Sidney thinks that I am demisexual?”

“I don’t know what that means,” Muck admits.

“Not a lot of people do,” Sledge sighs.

“Does it have to do with the accidental flirting?” Muck asks.

Sledge nods.

“I can’t say that I’d be particularly helpful,” Muck says. “But if you need to talk to someone I don’t mind listening.”

Sledge flushes.

“Babe too,” Muck says. “So if you need someone to talk to… We’re here.”

“But he’s in charge,” Sledge says. “I can’t… It’s too…”

“Well I don’t work here, and I wouldn’t tell him, but there’s some guys where I work that could help too.”

“How’d the talk with Sledge go?” Babe asks when Muck finally makes it to his office.

“I have so many things that I have to google,” Muck says. “You don’t even know.”

“Is Sledge into something bad?” 

“No,” Muck says. “He has a boyfriend?”

“Wait. What?” Babe says.

“Right? He wants to be friends with Merriell for _no reason_ ,” Muck says emphatically. “Who does that?”

“No seriously,” Babe says.

“I am serious. Merriell murders puppies. I am like 20% sure of it.”

“He said he has a boyfriend?” Babe asks.

“Yeah back home. Apparently he’s been accidentally flirting with people.”

“Is that a thing now?”

“The internet says so,” Muck replies, waving his phone around for emphasis.

“Kids these days,” Babe groans.  

“In my day kids were just terrible at flirting!” Muck says in his best grumpy old man voice. “None of this being good at flirting on accident business!”

Muck, naturally, witnesses the resolution of this mess. He is obviously the Gandalf of the Sledge and Merriell Middle Earth saga of Babe's office.

Sledge must have been delivering Merriell’s mail when the other kid was away from the desk because he's sneaking up to the desk now that Merriell is gone.  

Sledge gently puts a pile of mail next to Merriell’s name plate. _Fly you fool!_ Muck thinks.

Muck sees him breathe a sigh of relief before he turns around and Merriell is there. He must have been lurking in some dark cave fit for soulless land sharks or some parallel dimension only he can access. Because he is obviously Smeagol. 

Sledge tries to hurry away, but Snafu grabs his elbows and steadies him. Muck sneaks away while Merriell is distracted because this is a private moment, but more importantly it is a rare chance to avoid the kid.

A few weeks later Sidney comes and visits and it breaks Babe’s brain.

Sledge looks kind of soft and small tucked up under Sidney’s arm. He looks like all he needs are some tiny adorable animals and cartoon hearts and then he’d be the star of his own Disney movie.

Muck kind of gets the part about Sledge only being into Sidney now. This makes the weirdly flirtatious work chats with Merriell seem uneventful.

“I don’t understand anything anymore,” Babe says sadly.

“Don’t worry about it. Just let Sledge figure it out.” He’s googled things. He knows how to handle this.

He can admit that he was a bit worried that Sidney wouldn’t actually be okay with Sledge’s… Sledgeness. He was totally going to have Ron beat him up if he did anything untoward, but it looks like Ron won’t have to throw a seventeen year old over a wall. He’s going to be so disappointed.

“Well don’t you all feel stupid now?” Merriell drawls smugly when he walks back to his desk.

“Like you weren’t pining for his friend love not two weeks ago,” Muck says before he ducks behind Babe.

Merriell just grins at him.


End file.
